The Petty Hex Generator – Funny Digital Curse Maker | Royal Decree Gag Gift

For the slights too small for revenge and too annoying to forgive.

Someone chewed loudly. Someone said "let's circle back." Someone ate your clearly labelled lunch. You can't exactly call the authorities, but you can take it to the Mad Queen.

The Petty Hex Generator turns your pettiest grudges into official royal decrees. Name the offender, state their crime, choose how furious you are, and receive a sealed parchment decree declaring their fate.

✦ Choose your offender from 11 classic villains: the coworker, the ex, the reply-all sender, the leftover thief, the tailgater, the mansplainer and more. Add their name if you're feeling bold.

✦ Pick the crime from a list of everyday offences, or write your own.

✦ Set the severity: Mild (1 hex), Moderate (2 hexes) or Full Royal Wrath (3 hexes).

✦ 42 hexes, from "May your tea go cold the moment you remember it" to "May every chocolate chip cookie you bite turn out to be raisin"

✦ A parchment decree signed by the Queen and stamped with a red wax seal

✦ Recast as many times as you like, or copy your hex to send it

Every hex is petty, theatrical and completely harmless, and each one lifts upon a sincere apology or the next full moon, whichever comes first.

How it works

After purchase, you'll download a single file. Open it in any web browser. You don't need an app or an account, and it works offline. Screenshot your decree to share it with the group chat, or with the offender, if you dare.

Perfect for office survivors, the chronically annoyed, white-elephant gifts, stocking stuffers, and anyone who has ever muttered "I hope your socks get wet."

Please note: This is a digital product. Nothing physical will be shipped. It's for personal use by the purchaser only. It's for fun, and it has no actual magical powers (the Queen is looking into it).

Long live the madness.